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[untitled]

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00:30:00

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TOPIC FREQUENCY

Us 12, Amina 3, Stacy 2, Mr. Burket 2, America 2, California 2, Islam 2, San Francisco 2, As Womanizers 1, Obese 1, The City 1, United States 1, Leeb 1, Cal 1, Mike Or Stacy 1, Amina Mike Or Stacy 1, Mike 1, Luslyn 1, Region 1, Smeed 1,
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  SFGTV2    [untitled]  

    November 8, 2012
    7:00 - 7:30pm PST  

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mentor other youth who are in their situation. we have to listen to their stories and we have to give them power. >> mike, thank you. so, mike, i think as you mentioned and tom and ruslyn bullying is often fueled by bias, whether that's racial, ethnic, religious, or against the lgbq community. amina, you said bias is often fueled by misinformation. >> certainly in the muslim community that's very obvious. since 9-11 that's increased but even before 9-11 there were so many stereotypes out there, whether from hollywood, which portrayed muslim as terrorists, as womanizers, to just a host of campaigns over the last few
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years from the ground zero mosque to the koran burning, local and national campaigns against building mosques, all of these are obviously going to impact children and their parents and if they are at home hearing their parents talk about muslims in a certain way, they are going to take that to school with them. i have experienced this in my own growing up, which was long before 9-11, just the lack of information or the misinformation i experienced again with my own children, particularly when there's an event that happens overseas they will come to school and kids will reflect that in comments about did your parents commit another terrorist act, was that your dad that did this. it's common for kids to be called bin laden, daughter of saddam. a lot of times events overseas will have a huge impact on the kind of
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words children experience and unfortunately that bias is not limited just to students. there are cases where the teachers themselves have a lot of bias. there was an article published a couple years ago called suffer the little muslims where teachers, who are just human beings, any information from the media is going to be biased. we believe by providing an authentic voice that we believe can best be conveyed by people in that group, that is the best way to counter that bias and humanize that particular group, whether it's adults or children. >> thanks, amina mike or stacy, do you have anything to add to that? >> i think one area that can grow from this is within the family. we see youth that come from different countries and y
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that are lgbq and because their families come from a culture different from america and because they have to pay homage to that culture yet they are in america, they are at a struggle. it's not surprising when they come home and they want to talk to their mom or they want to talk to their dad or talk to their siblings about something a happened at school or something that happened at a community organization they are involved in, they just can't because they feel that -- they can't. they are afraid to and even if they do, they either get disowned or get kicked out or get beat up, unfortunately sometimes. i feel that sometimes family can feed into biases because of those cultural differences and we as community service providers need to realize that and acknowledge that. families aren't always positive for our youth. >> becky, in your experience what does it take to unseat
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that kind of bias? >> i think there are a few things. i wanted to back up a little tiny bit. when luslyn talked this morning she talked about our society not only tolerating but sometimes promoting it. one example is immigrants that has been widely out there in the last few years really increasing along with the kinds of things that amina talked about, very anti-immigrant messages coming out in the media. in new york, you probably remember this, some of you, in 2008 high school students were going out on a weekly basis beating up immigrants that they thought were supposedly undocumented immigrants. the students all knew about this but the adults didn't. it results in a hate crime, a murder. a couple things i wanted to bring up. what does it take to unseat bias? first of all, we
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have to look at all the places that people are getting that violence, those attitudes, and have dialogue about it. just like amina said, we need to be getting to know each other. some researchers back in the 40's came up with 4 important things to address prejudice. the first is getting it know each other, talking about it, getting it out in the open. the second is equal status, we're not just feeling sorry for those poor little whatevers that are difrplt than us, but we are all equal. the third one is working together and i think about the giants, we're all for the team, not all together not as if we are color blind and color doesn't exist but with our diversity. the fourth is with power and authority, the person who stands up and says this is what needs to happen, like a school principal who says we're not going to let kids go around the
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school saying that's okay, all these things are needed. >> i like that, that's great. something that really resonated with me that tom said, if you simply tolerate diversity you are aspiring to mediocrity. can you talk about the ambassadors, adults taking an active role to intervene when we witness bullying. >> all of us are humbled by the virus, how systemic it's become. how do you get your hands around that? for me it's top down and bottom up. we are authority figures and what we do for our children and that's care, but we need to empower them to become the leaders they are waiting to become. this notion
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of youth adult partnership is esoteric in its term but on the ground how do you operationalize it, those things in the public school who are working so hard to meet the required mandates. schools are driven by mandates, academic achievement, achievement, enrollment. but the conditions in which the virus grows, if you follow the metaphor that bullying is a systemic virus, then the environment has to change so the virus cannot grow and the only way the environment changes is if youth and adults begin to speak with one voice about changing the social norms that allows it to happen. it makes sense to most of us, you have it khaifrpb the social norms. we must educate. but we must go beyond thinking more rigor will get us better achievement. we have to remember a school is a community and in a xhuept, people look out for each other.
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they've got each other's back. how do we begin to promote that idea that we are in this thing together? we believe it's through, unfortunately but truly, self-interest. kids are driven developmentally by the desire to fit in, to belong, to be part of an affinity group. if we can capitalize on their desire to look out for their friends and give them some more tools and opportunities and support, they will begin to do what we need them to do to at least confront it in their own small cell of social influence and the compounding and leveraging of that begins to make change. so the question we have to ask ourselves, are we as adults willing it slow down enough to invite kids to sit down at the table with us and partner? do we have the courage to understand that inclusion takes time and we have have to work more diligently to i invite
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young people, particularly marginalized young people, to take part. >> you mentioned changing social norms and i would imagine, stacy, part of that is powerful role models and so i think that that's a lot about the work that you are doing with the san francisco giants. so can you talk a bit about how you see the san francisco giants as being those role models and playing an active role and being upstanders? >> part of it is the role model stand point and using baseball as a hook to get people's attention. when we have a captive audience of 40,000 people plus a wide tell television and radio audience, we use that to get across the message about an issue. sometimes we get letters, hey,
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i came to see a game with my son and instead i'm hearing about a murder committee in yosemite and that's a downer of a way to start the day. sometimes that's a tough conversation with a fan but at least at the end of the day they've taken something away with them. also at the grass roots level we have a junior giants program, it's a youth baseball program throughout california. we use baseball as the hook to get kids to come together to learn about teamwork, we have a whole can urriculum that's based on the importance of reading, literacy, education, we have a whole violence prevention can urriculum, we have 22,000 kids playing baseball throughout northern california, junior giants baseball, and we have a number of volunteer coaches and commissioners and one of the things that we ask every year our junior giants players to do
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is to take the peace pledge. it's basically the pledge is i'm a junior giant, i pledge to strike out violence by, and the first line is prevent bullying and respecting my teammates, coaches, family and friends. so at the peer grass roots level where we have coaches working closely with kids we hope to spread a message, we also have an art contest, imagine peace where we honor kids at a ballgame later in the year just so kids can interpret and show their form of how they interpret anti-bullying and peace in this society. you know, it's not perfect, it doesn't always work. i think sometimes people tune us out. but we feel strongly that with the partnerships that we have in the community we can make an impact and i think there's a bias or there's an assumption in sports that it's a
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homophobic industry, it's almost like that man bites dog, people look up and say, wait a minute, that's not the way to do things. >> we have talked about policy, legal, now you hear about organizations doing boots on the ground and doing work in their communities. michael, you said something interesting, that family can sometimes not be a positive influence. let's get micro, what influences do you draw upon, what influenced you to become an antibias aspect, personal or family, aspects of your own cultural identity? >> okay, being the eldest of three and a vietnamese family is very difficult. throw in being gay, it makes it a lot more stressful. and throw in being clinically labeled as obese at age 13, you have a
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recipe for bullying and discrimination all over. so that was me. and it was hard and it wasn't until someone took a chance on me and mr. burket saved my life. there are moments where i've been in the shoes where my youth have been. if it wasn't for mr. burket, i wouldn't be here and i wouldn't be able to provide the services that i provide my youth today. that's why i do it. that's why i'm a program coordinator at the wellness center, that's why i co-chair gay asian, that's why i sit on the wellness committee of san francisco. it's a way for me to give back. i hope that answers your question and thank you for allowing me to be a panelist. >> rick, amina or stacy, anything you with like to share from your personal experiences? ?oo >> speaking about your
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personal life in front of people you know or don't know isn't always an easy thing, you wouldn't know by looking at me but i'm an immigrant. i wasment born in the united statesment i came to this country, to california, when i was a 10-year-old with a single mother and two small brothers living in a motel. my first experience at public school, i must have had a kick me sign on my back because being difficult, as you would understand, made me a target and that imprint stayed with me for many years and guided me in a very dysfunctional angry self-loathing kind of way as many children do. today, 160,000 kids are not in public school because they are afraid of what someone might say or do to them. so that lives in me and like some of you and your own stories, i was fortunate enough to use it to become a teacher, a principal, and assistant superintendent of public schools and now a nonprofit director whose single mission is to do what we're doing to make sure kids go to
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school where they feel safe and included. one of my personal stories of value, it helps to connect us because, i don't want to speak in cliche, but it's harder it -- to hate somebody when you know their story. common ground doesn't necessarily make us best friends but we start to thread community and we find acceptance for differences and compassion. today isn't about me, today is about do we have the courage it leave here today and not just say it was an interesting day, that each of us in this room is going to be inspired enough to take action, each one reaching one, and that's the only reason i would take the time to share a personal story is to know that you can walk out here and right now, today, we can make a difference. >> you know, i think we have a group of very powerful leaders here today. i think to build on what rick was really saying
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about taking some of the negative experiences that he had, that mike had growing up, and use them to power forward and use them to build some amazing organizations and we all want people in this room to do something. but there are limitations, limitations to your organization's capacity it reach more people, to roll out your can urriculum and to get your programs in more places. can you talk a little bit about what they are and what people in this room can do to help? amina, you want to get us started? >> sure. in your packets you should have our program that we have locally in the bay area and we also have affiliated across the country in many areas. our dream would be to have a similar program to ours in every city in the united states. obviously that takes time, our speakers are
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volunteers, they aren't paid. it may take 4 or 5 hours to go into schools so resources are always an issue. many schools are afraid to invite speakers in to talk about any religion, but particularly islam, there's not always a clear understanding to what the first amendment guarantees, which is the right to teach about a religion but not proselytize about it. i think there's fear of associating with anyone associated with islam. there are events outside our control that creates more interest and unfortunately also makes people more afraid. one of the programs we are about to launch is putting all our content online so a teacher in north dakota where there are no muslim, potentially, no expert
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can come to her classroom, they can go to our web site and download the content and teach the things we are teaching. >> i think partnerships are the best way to overcome the limitations because we all have limitations. and sometimes it's just visibility. we actually have on our web site 50 short films and one of them is a muslim student from a school in fremont going to a school in arinda talking about what it's like going to school as a muslim in the united states and they are asking questions and you see we are all kids in school and we have more similarities than differences. i think by partnering there are so many ways that we can spread these ideas because ultimately we're talking about a cultural shift. so we're all limited by our financial resources and by who knows about us, but as we partner together and i say this to all
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of us in this room because that's basically what rick is challenging us to do is to not let this day stop here but walk out of here and work together to make differences. the bay area can really be a leader in that way. >> partnerships and resources. anyone else want to raise a few other ideas regarding limitations? >> yeah, the schools again are driven by i think 3 things: pain and what's going on needs and mandates and also leadership of the people in the buildings and behind the buildings. so one of the things that many of us here understand that the environment or what we call the climate influences outcomes but often times in public schools where decisions are made, climate and educational mandates are perceived as two opposite ends of the continuum, like when i have time and i've achieved my test scores and we've got everything buttoned up, then we'll get to the klie mallet.
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we've heard it from speaker after speaker, that conditions set the stage for children to leeb lean in and achieve. the good news is we can move bullying out of the front page not with more dollars but with more changes in our attitudes and our interactions. if more teachers perceive themselves to be call friendly and know the names of boys and girls in their buildings, part of it is reeducation that climate and environment and changing social norms is not secondary, it's primary and when we all embrace that then we'll begin to see
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the changes in the policies and the practices and we'll begin to get the results we want. we need to advocate for improving the social climates of our public schools, not more rigor, more relationships. better relationships. >> something that has come up in some disparate ways today is bullying and cyber bullying but we've seen the line between the two has blurred quite a bit. it's harder for schools to deal with things happening in an out of school context. a really recent example of that are the mob protests in the middle east right now that are going on that some say were sparked by an antimuslim video that was put online and went viral. i wonder if any of your programs how you are dealing with the interconnectedness between what's happening in the online world and then what's happening in the offline world and the connection between hate
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speech and online bullying with what's happening in classrooms and communities. >> not in our town works with communities all over the country. so we use the internet in many positive ways and then we also get a lot of those hostile comments coming in to us as well, which we block. but there's a town, marshaltown, iowa, that recently did a not in our town, not in our community, article on this topic. the newspaper editor was tired of all those negative comments that come in to the newspaper because you see them under the article. at the same time in sioux falls, a town close to them, that had a suicide and the whole community came together to take a positive approach and that kind of combines the two things, looking at how we treat each other online as well as how we
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treat each other on the community. you can go to our wepb site and see the progression as the whole community came together, the school district, the city, the library and they all worked together saying this isn't what we want in our town and they are being very proactive. another thing is we work with students and they came up with a positive campaign on facebook that they did, we have a little film on cyber bullying where some students in new jersey came together and they called it a virtual hug. they tried to basically bring that positive environment to the internet because kids are sort of shifting that culture. we also want to shift the culture on the internet. >> mike or stacy, rick, amina, anything regarding social media, not just the connection with bullying but how you can use social media for positive
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ends. >> i think again we have the message to spread our message, we have a million facebook followers, we have twitter. we tried to turn that into a positive in terms of getting the message out beyond the ballpark or junior giants. i always see it as a positive from a public awareness stand point. but as a parent it scares the beejesus out of me because i think what you see in cyber bullying is it allows the bully to be anonymous. you don't have ownership of what you do online. from the giants perspective there's a lot of opportunity to educate kids through junior giants and serving as role models with our players to spread the message about all bullying, not just what you do in the hallway or the classroom, but all bullying,
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including online, is unacceptable. as parents trying to teach kids about the boundaries of the social media world and respecting people in all ways. >> i'd just like to first of all begin by condemning the violence and mourning the death of a wonderful friend to arabs and muslims, i knew people who knew him, he was a cal grad like myself. the irony is you are killing a fripd. but that's the nature of mob violence and the ideology of hate. and unfortunately hate begets hate and that's what we're really seeing on both sides. put out an inflammatory film and people who are willing to do the dance who will confirm what the film is saying and when does this cycle end? we see this in schools as well, unfortunately. we see it on the internet way too much as you mentioned. look at any article, i am most familiar with articles about muslims but it seems like something happens to people when they go on the
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net, they turn into horrible people and say horrible things because nobody knows who they are. i think it obviously begins in the home, computers should be in open spaces, parents should have the ability to see what their children are doing and this goes through high school and then just the environment that we create in our schools and our communities where it's not cool to be doing these things. i think the machismo that feeds into these actions needs to be stopped on every level. we're really in uncharted territory here. balancing the first amendment with the right of people to live their lives without fear. >> before we go to q and a from the audience, a quick word from our sponsors. >> sorry to interrupt but we want to keep the day moving quickly. to smeed up the
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lunch service, please remove your bags from the tables. water and refreshments are available. lunch will begin promptly at 12.30 so please make sure everything is off your table so the servers can facilitate a quick luncheon service and we'll get on with our program. sorry to interrupt. >> so any questions from the audience? did we have someone with a microphone? go ahead. >> i'll go first. i completely agree with what you said about everything against bullying, everything against all the misconceptions,
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the lack of education, it all has to begin with community. let me introduce myself, i am a regional director for region 6 and also an ob-gyn physician, also a physician. one of the things that i have come across, having dealt with in my education and everything else, is that the school itself is a huge community for the kids and if we leave that community out of the picture and focus just on the family and the outside community and teaching everybody else and not making sure our teachers get the diversity training, we are missing a big point in that picture. for example, my kids went to private school, this is the first year they are going to public school, and we listed punjabi as the language spoken at home and we got so many calls from the school just to make sure the kids would come
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in, they are proficientin english. they know english but we got at least 3 phone calls and messages left on our answering machines. why is it these schools do not list the diverse population of students coming in and actually have a parents day where they talk about and give them a little spiel on diversity, information on the culture? that information goes back to the home and there is misconceptions being perpetuated at home. i think it all starts with the responsibility. where is accountability for the schools it play a huge role not only in bullying but also making sure the diversity goes back home. >> really important to have that partnership between home and school. anyone on the panel like to address that? >> there's a term i like to use, it's called identity safety. identify safety means